I remember when I initially started my therapy practice, Healing Journey Counseling Center, back in 2019. I knew I wanted to work with Black millennial women, but I was unsure in what capacity. I felt like that population did not have many safe spaces. I wanted to create a space where Black women could come and be themselves without worrying about microaggressions, judgment, code-switching or anything else. I wanted them to have a place where they could openly discuss issues.
As my practice grew, I noticed many Black women struggling with depression - but it didn't mirror the typical symptoms I learned about in school like sadness, suicidal thoughts, changes in appetite, isolation, and lack of interest.
Instead, I saw women who were easily irritated or annoyed, suppressing their feelings due to the perception that they must be strong. They did not want to come across as offensive or be labeled as argumentative or an angry Black woman. Some were exhausted by the 'strong Black woman' trope but felt unable to express that.
As Black women, we're often taught we must work harder, fight stronger, and endure more than others. We're conditioned to suppress emotions and power through. In our careers, we code-switch and face undue criticism. At home, we prioritize caring for others while neglecting our needs.
The 'strong Black woman' mythology dismisses Black women's emotional needs. By better understanding depression's unique manifestations in Black women, we can break down barriers preventing them from seeking help.
Because of those issues above, I believe that is why many Black women do not know they are depressed. They just feel like they are failing or behind because they are not accomplishing goals and getting things done.
Often Black women complain of physical symptoms when they are experiencing depression.
A recent study from New York University on 227 Black women found some common symptoms of depression included:
This research affirmed my own observations of Black women in therapy. I knew I needed to focus more on supporting Black women struggling with anxiety and depression.
While the self-care aesthetic trending on social media is uplifting, true self-care requires hard work - saying no, expressing needs, and prioritizing wellbeing over perceptions. We'll unpack this concept more in the future.
If any of this resonates with you, know you're not alone. This experience is, unfortunately, far too common among Black women. My goal is to create a judgement-free space for Black women to be heard, feel empowered, and get the tailored support they need to heal.
Stay tuned for next week's blog where I will share books to read related to depression and anxiety.
Join my email list for more resources on better understanding and overcoming depression as a Black woman. Together, we can break stigma and start the journey to feeling whole.
]]>We all have at least one friend who seems like they have it all together. They're the ones who always lend a helping hand, offer a shoulder to cry on, provide a listening ear, and we can always call on. They're the strong ones, But what happens when they're the ones in need? They are usually the ones that are struggling with their own mental health but does not like to ask for her or struggle to ask for help.
Here is how you can show up for them:
Be an Active Listener: When they do open up, be a compassionate and non-judgmental listener. Sometimes, all they need is someone who will hear them out. Give them your full attention and avoid interrupting or offering unsolicited advice.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of asking yes-or-no questions, ask open-ended ones that encourage them to share more about their thoughts and feelings. Questions like, "How are you feeling today?" or "What's been on your mind lately?" can invite deeper conversations.
Respect Their Boundaries: Recognize that not everyone is ready to open up immediately. Respect their privacy and let them know that you're available whenever they're ready to talk.
Offer Specific Help: Be proactive in your support. Instead of saying, "Let me know if you need anything," offer specific assistance like running errands, helping with chores, or even accompanying them to appointments if necessary.
Celebrate Their Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can boost their confidence and mood.
Follow Up: If they shared a concern or issue in the past, follow up on it. Ask how things are progressing and if there's anything more you can do to help.
Plan Fun Activities: Organize outings or activities you both enjoy to help them relax and take their mind off things.
Suggest Professional Help: If you notice signs of severe distress or mental health issues, encourage them to seek professional help. Send them over therapy directories.
By checking on your strong friends, you're not only strengthening your friendship but also fostering a sense of community and compassion that can make a world of difference in their lives. So, reach out, listen, and be there for them, just as they've been there for you.
]]>Starting your healing journey can be a daunting task, but it's also one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself. Whether you're dealing with physical or emotional pain, the process of healing requires courage, self-compassion, and a willingness to let go of old patterns and beliefs. In this blog post, we'll explore some steps you can take to begin your healing journey.
Acknowledge your pain
The first step in healing is to acknowledge your pain. This may sound obvious, but many people try to push their pain aside or ignore it altogether. However, denying your pain only prolongs the healing process. By acknowledging your pain, you're taking the first step towards healing.
Practice self-compassion
Self-compassion is an essential component of healing. It involves treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience. When you're going through a difficult time, it's easy to be hard on yourself and to blame yourself for your pain. However, self-compassion involves recognizing that you're not alone in your suffering and that it's okay to feel what you're feeling.
Identify your triggers
Identifying your triggers is an important step in the healing process. Triggers are things that set off your pain, whether they're physical or emotional. For example, if you're dealing with emotional pain, your trigger might be a certain person or situation that reminds you of the source of your pain. By identifying your triggers, you can learn to avoid or manage them, which can help to reduce your pain.
Practice self-care
Self-care is an important part of the healing process. It involves taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, practicing mindfulness, and doing things that make you happy. Self-care can help to reduce your stress levels and improve your overall well-being, which can make it easier to cope with your pain.
Let go of old patterns and beliefs
Letting go of old patterns and beliefs is an essential step in the healing process. This may involve challenging beliefs that no longer serve you, such as "I'm not worthy of love" or "I'm not good enough." It may also involve letting go of old patterns of behavior that are keeping you stuck in your pain. This can be challenging, but it's necessary in order to move forward and heal.
Seek professional help
Healing can be a complex and challenging process, and it's important to seek professional help if you're struggling. A therapist or counselor can provide you with the tools and support you need to work through your pain and move forward. They can also help you to identify any underlying issues that may be contributing to your pain.
Starting your healing journey can be a difficult and challenging process, but it's also one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself. By acknowledging your pain, practicing self-compassion, identifying your triggers, seeking professional help, practicing self-care, and letting go of old patterns and beliefs, you can begin to heal and move forward in your life. Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination, and it's okay to take it one step at a time
]]>Seasonal affective disorder (also known as SAD) occurs during the beginning of the fall and winter months and ends around spring. There is not a direct cause for SAD but there has been much research on it. Many researchers believes it is due to some people's body producing low Vitamin D levels so lack of sunlight starts to affect them mentally and emotionally. SAD is similar to regular depression except SAD only occurs around this time of the year as the summer days have came to an end. It is more common in women and children; especially those children that enjoy outdoor activities and will have to limit their time outdoor due to daylight ending early.
Some symptoms of SAD includes hopelessness, social isolation, increased need for sleep, unhappiness, irritable, and loss of interest.
Some treatment for SAD includes psychotherapy, light therapy, and vitamin D.
Make sure you are following me on Instagram as I will be sharing more on this topic throughout the fall and winter months. Click HERE to follow me.
Before diagnosing yourself, please seek treatment from a licensed mental health professional.
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