5 Lessons I Learned in 2025

2025 has truly been a year of lessons for me.

Not the kind of lessons you read about or hear someone else talk through but the kind that change your life, your perspective, and how you see people. This year shifted how I view my relationships across the board: family, friendships, and my love life. Everything feels different now.

I wouldn’t write 2025 off as the worst year of my life. Honestly, I think I needed this year.

I needed the clarity.
I needed the discomfort.
I needed the revelations.

As I prepare to step into a new year and a new season, I’m realizing how differently my year is ending compared to how it started. New energy. New people. New dynamics. New understanding. And as heavy as this year has been at times, I’m genuinely excited about what’s ahead.

These lessons aren’t in any particular order. They’re not ranked from best to worst. They’re simply truths I learned the hard way and lessons that changed me.

1. People treat you based on what you allow

We often hear the phrase, “People treat you based on how they feel about you.”
I don’t fully believe that anymore.

People treat you based on what you allow.

Do you allow disrespect?
Do you excuse behavior over and over again?
Do you give endless chances without change?

By nature, I’m forgiving. I’m patient. I’m understanding. Being a therapist aligns naturally with who I am I believe people are learning, evolving, and carrying things we may not always see.

But here’s what I learned: Understanding someone does not mean you have to accept their behavior.

Grace without boundaries teaches people nothing. Constantly forgiving and making excuses doesn’t make you the bigger person. It only teaches people that access to you comes without accountability.

You don’t have to accept what drains you. You don’t have to carry other people’s baggage. And you don’t always have to be the bigger person especially if the other person isn’t doing the work.

2. Accountability doesn’t always require a conversation

I used to believe accountability meant explaining things. Talking it through. Teaching someone a lesson.

But accountability isn’t about punishment nor is it about rehabilitation either.

A lot of people approach accountability only once they’re angry, hurt, or overwhelmed. When emotions take over, accountability starts to feel like revenge instead of responsibility.

I’ve learned that accountability is like boundaries. Both should be established before resentment builds.

And sometimes, accountability doesn’t require a conversation at all. Sometimes accountability looks like distance. Sometimes it looks like cutting ties. Sometimes it looks like choosing not to explain yourself.

You can’t force apologies. You can’t force changed behavior. And you don’t have to stay connected just to prove a point.

3. Not everyone around you actually likes you

This lesson was heavy.

Some people don’t like you. They like the benefits of you.

They like that you’re a resource.
They like that you’re helpful.
They like that you show up, solve problems, and come through.

But remove the access and watch how things change.

I’m not saying to test people or play games. I’m saying pay attention during hard seasons especially when you’re no longer available or able to give.

Ask yourself:
When was the last time someone checked on you?
Who asks how you’re doing without needing something?
Who extends grace to you when you’re struggling?

I’ve been in seasons where people knew I was going through a lot and still expected me to show up for them as if nothing was happening. That was revealing.

Proximity does not equal loyalty.

4. Checking in on your people matters

Please check on your people especially the strong ones.

The friend who always pours into everyone else.
The one people vent to.
The one who always seems “okay.”

Just because someone isn’t talking about what they’re going through doesn’t mean they aren’t carrying something heavy.

And telling someone, “Let me know if you need anything,” isn’t always enough. Strong people rarely ask. Not because they don’t need help but because they’re used to being the helper.

Sometimes checking in looks like:
“Let’s grab dinner.”
“Let’s get out of the house.”
“I just wanted to sit with you.”

Presence matters.

5. Breaks from people are necessary

This one brought me peace.

There are people I cannot talk to daily.
Some I can’t talk to weekly.

And that’s okay.

Sometimes connection looks like sending a funny video, laughing, and keeping it moving. That doesn’t mean I dislike the person. Iit means I understand myself.

When I’m going through something, I have to protect my energy. I can’t be around people who constantly drain me, always have problems, or expect me to pour when my cup is already low.

I believe in my cup overflowing not being emptied.

So yes, breaks from people are necessary.
They’re not punishment.
 They’re protection.

2025 taught me discernment.

It taught me to stop making excuses for behavior.
To be honest about how people make me feel.
To protect my peace without guilt.

I’m still compassionate. I’m still soft. I’m just wiser about who gets access. And that lesson alone changed everything.