My Life Is in Shambles: Your Enemies Are Closer Than You Think

I could easily get on social media and air things out, but I am not that type of person.
I enjoy writing. So instead of giving people a show, I decided to do what I love and put my feelings into words.

I have said before that I want to be more transparent with my life. Not for gossip, but because I believe my experiences can help someone else. As a therapist and healer, I think it is important to let people know that I go through things too. The difference is that with God, emotional intelligence, and a regulated nervous system, I handle situations differently.

I am mindful of my actions. I am aware of my emotions. And I choose to respond, not react. That is the gift of growth.

It does not mean people have stopped testing me. Lately, those tests have come from people close to me, close in relationships, and close in blood.

What I am learning is that some people cannot stand to see you happy and at peace. The more I grow, the more I am challenged. And it is interesting how someone you thought was for you can suddenly become your enemy.

The Bible says in Micah 7:6 that “a man’s enemies are the members of his own household.” That truth has been showing up in my life lately.

I Called This “My Life Is in Shambles” for a Reason

For a while, I was getting text messages from a fake number. These messages kept saying “your life is in shambles” and throwing lies at me. The words felt familiar; the same kinds of things I had heard before from someone I used to be with.

I figured it had to be someone connected to him, but I never thought it would be a relative. And not just any relative but one who is now dating my ex. They talked about me, teamed up, and used that fake number to attack me.

How can you watch someone’s page every day if you “hate” them?
How can you be sleeping with someone they once loved and still be obsessed with what they are doing?

That is not curiosity. That is obsession. That is sickness.

The Bible warns us in Jeremiah 17:9 that “the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” When people’s hearts are full of jealousy and hate, there is no limit to the things they will do.

He Wanted Me to Rely on Him

He thinks my life is in shambles because he wanted me to depend on him. That was never going to happen. My life is far from shambles. I am blessed and God has been good to me.

Because of emotional intelligence and a regulated nervous system, I can see his behavior for what it really is  and that is control and manipulation. I refuse to give him that power.

Psalm 23:1 says, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” I do not rely on man. I rely on God. Everything I have is because of His grace, not because of him.

I Learned to Hide My Happiness

When I was dealing with a narcissistic man, I had to hide my happiness. Not because I did not want to celebrate my wins, but because he hated to see me happy. My joy made him resentful. My success made him uncomfortable.

So I moved quietly. I kept things to myself because if he saw me thriving, he would try to destroy it. Meanwhile, he was telling lies and making me look like the villain while playing the victim.

But emotional intelligence has taught me that not everything requires a reaction. A regulated nervous system has taught me that my peace is worth more than proving a point.

Romans 8:31 says, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” No lie formed against me will prosper.

Sometimes Your Enemies Share Your Bloodline

Family can be jealous.
Family can be hateful.
Family can plot against you and smile in your face at the same time.

The most dangerous enemies are not always strangers. They can share your bloodline. They can share your last name. And when they link up with someone who already means you harm, the betrayal cuts even deeper.

Even Jesus experienced betrayal from someone close. Judas was part of His inner circle. That’s why I know betrayal is not always a reflection of your worth. Sometimes it is a reflection of the brokenness inside of them.

Men Can Be Hateful Too

Men can be just as hateful and evil as anyone else. When you are a woman of substance, you cannot just date any man. The wrong man will not only try to tear you down; he will recruit others to help him.

You have to protect your spirit. You have to protect your peace. And you have to be careful who you give access to because not everyone who gets close to you is sent by God.

Matthew 7:16 says, “You will know them by their fruits.” Watch the fruit people produce. Their actions will tell you everything you need to know.

My Character Comes First

Clarity is not conflict. I am not afraid to speak my truth, but I will never act in a way that will cause issues for my future. I have an image and a reputation that I will protect.

Emotional intelligence means I can speak from a place of calm, not chaos. A regulated nervous system means I can tell my story without giving people the performance they may want to see.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us to “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” That includes guarding my peace, my reputation, and my response.

What I know for sure is that your enemies are often closer than you think. They can share your bed. They can share your blood. And sometimes they work together.

But here is the thing, they can say my life is in shambles all they want. The truth is my life is blessed, it is evolving, and nothing they say can stop what God has already planned for me. And that will always be the part that bothers them most.

Isaiah 54:17 says, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper.” And I believe that with my whole heart.